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Raising a child is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences a person can have. However, not all parents are created equal. Some may be loving and supportive, while others may be toxic and emotionally damaging. If you suspect that you were raised by a toxic mother, there are certain signs to look for these 8 signs you were raised by a toxic mother. From manipulation and control to neglect and verbal abuse, these common signs can help you understand your past and move forward in a healthier way. It’s important to know that healing is possible and you deserve to live a life free from toxic influence.
8 signs you were raised by a toxic mother
If you’re in a constant state of feeling unloved and unfulfilled, it may be because you have a toxic mother who has been deeply impacting your life. Toxic mothers can be difficult to spot, but the following 8 signs you were raised by a toxic mother. If you suspect that your mother is toxic, it’s important to recognize the major signs and take steps to heal the damage.
A toxic mother will constantly criticize you
One of toxic mother signs is that she will be resistant to your growth and development. As you change and grow over time, she will be incredibly critical of your choice to do so. A toxic mother will be incredibly critical of your appearance, your lifestyle, and your choices in life. While it is natural for mothers to offer constructive criticism to their children, a toxic mother will offer constant criticism with no constructive or helpful suggestions.
A toxic mother will call you names, such as “stupid,” “ugly,” or “fat.” She will constantly put you down, no matter how hard you try or how much you achieve. A toxic mother will be incredibly jealous of your achievements and successes, and she will constantly undermine your choices and accomplishments.
A toxic mother only cares about herself
Another toxic mother signs is that she is only concerned with her wants and needs. This is one the major signs of toxic behavior. She is not concerned with the needs of her children. This means that she will not be there for you when you need her most. Whether you are struggling with an illness, school, making friends or substance abuse, she will not be there for you. A toxic mother is not capable of loving or caring for anyone but herself.
A toxic mother will manipulate and abuse you
A manipulative mother will use her child to pursue her own needs and desires. She will use her child as a way to manipulate other people. Toxic people use children as a way to get things that they wants, such as gifts and attention. A toxic mother will also use her child as a way to avoid responsibility. If she is in charge of caring for her child, she will neglect their needs completely.
She will use her child as a way to get out of making commitments that she does not want to make. Such family members impact child’s psyche since they face a lot of emotional abuse. A toxic mother may abuse her child as a way to silence that child or to keep them from pursuing certain goals and desires.
Will encourage behaviors that are harmful to you
A toxic mother will encourage her child to pursue activities and hobbies that will be harmful to the child. She would not stop her child to engage in bullying, harassing other children, or committing acts of vandalism or petty theft. Unlike healthy parents, toxic individuals encourage children to pursue activities and hobbies that are incredibly unhealthy and dangerous.
A toxic mother will make you feel guilty for enjoying yourself
A toxic mother will constantly attack your self-esteem and make you feel guilty for pursuing your own goals and interests. She will constantly be reminding you of how much you have to be grateful for, but she will not offer support when you need it, so gratitude will not feed your stomach. Such toxic relationship will make you feel guilty for pursuing interests that she does not approve of.
If you are interested in pursuing a career path that she does not approve of, she will try to make you feel guilty for making that choice. This would directly impact lead to low self-esteem. If you are interested in pursuing a romantic partner that she does not approve of, she would try to five you guilt trips. In most cases children facing toxic parenting would receive less or no emotional support.
Your mother intentionally sabotaged your relationships
A toxic mother will try to keep her children isolated and alone. She will try to keep them from making friends and forming romantic relationships. She will try to keep them from being happy because she does not want them to leave her. A toxic mother will try to sabotage her children’s relationships by constantly interfering with them.
A toxic mother will try to sabotage her children’s relationships by constantly lying to their best friends and loved ones. She will try to be incredibly jealous of her child’s romantic relationships, making it very difficult for them to maintain a healthy relationship. Due to negative emotions of toxic person, a child always has trust issues.
Your mother made you feel worthless and incapable
A toxic mother will try to make her child feel like they are incapable of making any good choices in life. She will make you feel like you are incapable of making healthy friendships or romantic relationships. She will make you feel like you are incapable of pursuing a career path that benefits you. In most situations you will have low self-worth. This kind of parents’ behaviors would have a devastating effects on children.
Unpredictable behavior
A toxic mother may be emotionally unstable, and her behavior can be unpredictable and confusing, leaving the child feeling insecure and unsafe. Unpredictable behavior from a toxic mother can be particularly damaging for children. This type of behavior can create a sense of insecurity and fear in children, as they never know what to expect from their mother. They may feel like they are walking on eggshells, trying to avoid setting her off.
How toxic relationships impacts children
Having a toxic mother can have a significant impact on children. Some of the ways this can manifest include:
- Low self-esteem: Children who are raised by toxic mothers may develop a poor self-image and lack of confidence. Constant criticism, manipulation, and verbal abuse can make them feel worthless and unlovable.
- Difficulty with trust and relationships: Children who are raised by toxic mothers may have difficulty trusting others and forming healthy and positive relationships. They may be afraid of being hurt or rejected, and may struggle to open up to others.
- Difficulty with boundaries: Children of toxic parents may have difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. They may struggle to assert themselves and may be prone to people-pleasing.
- Emotional and psychological problems – Children who are raised by toxic mothers may be more likely to develop mental health issues such as depression, anxiety disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder. They may be more likely to self-harm or engage in risky behaviors.
- Difficulty with emotional regulation: Children who are raised by toxic mothers may have difficulty regulating their emotions. They may struggle to manage feelings of anger, sadness, or fear and may have difficulty identifying and expressing their feelings.
- Difficulty in handling conflicts: Children who are raised by toxic mothers may have hard time handling conflicts. They may avoid conflicts or give in to them, they may have trouble communicating assertively, and may struggle to understand the perspective of others.
- Difficulty in understanding healthy relationships: Children who are raised by toxic mothers may have difficulty understanding what a healthy relationship looks like. They may not know how to identify or respond to toxic behavior and may end up in similar relationships in the future.
How to deal with Toxic mother and heal yourself
Dealing with a toxic mother and healing yourself can be a difficult and challenging process. However, there are some steps you can take to help you cope and move forward. Here are a few suggestions –
- Set boundaries: It’s important to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with a toxic mother. This can include setting limits on contact, refusing to engage in certain conversations or activities, and protecting your emotional well-being.
- Seek support: It’s important to have a support system in place. This can include friends, family, therapy, or support groups. Talking to someone who can understand what you’re going through can help you process your feelings and gain perspective.
- Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is crucial in the healing process. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Try engaging in some form of physical exercise on regular basis.
- Learn to forgive: Forgiveness is not about forgetting or condoning the hurtful behavior, but it’s about letting go of the anger and resentment that’s holding you back. It’s about finding peace and moving forward. An abusive relationship has long-lasting effects and so it is important to try to move on.
- Seek professional help: A therapist can help you process and understand your feelings, provide support, and help you develop coping mechanisms. It can also help you understand the dynamic and dynamics of your relationship with your mother.
- Don’t blame yourself: A toxic mother’s behavior is not your fault and you should not blame yourself for her actions. Remember that you are not responsible for another person’s behavior and you deserve to be treated with respect and love.
- Focus on the present and future: While it is important to acknowledge and process past hurt, it is also important to focus on the present and future. Create a vision for your life that feels positive and healthy, and take steps towards making that vision a reality.
It’s important to remember that healing is a process and it can take time. Be kind and patient with yourself as you work through this process. It’s also important to have realistic expectations and understand that not all toxic relationships can be healed, in some cases it may be necessary to limit or cut off contact with a toxic person.
Conclusion
A toxic mother can have a significant impact on her child’s life, and unfortunately, it’s something that many people struggle with. It’s important to recognize the signs of a toxic mother and what they’re doing to you. It can be difficult to confront your mother, but it’s the only way to end the toxic cycle and create a healthier and happier life for yourself. With the right steps, you can heal and move forward positively.
It’s worth noting that not all children who are raised by toxic mothers will experience all of these impacts, and some may be more affected than others. Also, not all mothers who exhibit toxic behaviors are toxic, and some may be going through difficult times and may not have the knowledge or resources to handle their emotions and behavior in a healthy way.
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