Authoritative Parenting – Why is it most common among the 4 other parenting styles?

Are you in the middle of chaos where everything happens is unplanned, and every day you are in thought about how to deal with your child’s behavior? If your kids are do not listen to you and you are trying to find a routine to keep them disciplined, then authoritative parenting might be the best way. 

Authoritative parents are those who somehow manage a balance between discipline and pushover. Their love is kind and warm, and they respect their child’s thoughts and individuality. Their purpose is to build well–rounded, happy and independent person that will be positive additions to the community.

What is Authoritative Parenting?

The authoritative parenting style is a method that includes nurturing friendliness, comfort, sensitivity, and some restrictions. The parents approach is positive reinforcement and reasoning to guide the children’s behavior. They avoid the threats and punishments approach.

Authoritative parenting is common in the middle class, educated families. The kids that are brought up in this parenting style are likely to become independent, socially accepted, well–mannered, successful academically, self–reliant, and well–behaved.

These kids are less likely to fall into depression, anxiety and engage in anti-social behavior like drug and alcohol addiction. After much research, it proves that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style among the four Baumrind parenting styles.

Difference Between Authoritative vs. Authoritarian

Authoritative and Authoritarian parenting look like similar, but there are huge differences in the two methods and results also vary.

But first, understand what Authoritarian Parenting is

Authoritarian parenting tends to follow an older approach. To build the foundation, kids who don’t hear or don’t follow instructions are being told or pushed to follow instructions. Phrases like “because I said so” are used.

This parenting style is distinguished by a lack of positive attitude and encouragement. These parenting styles involve the approach that needs to set tough rules and high expectations.

Read here about Planned Parenting

Fundamental differences between Authoritative vs. Authoritarian Parenting

1. Communication

Those parents who follow an authoritarian approach mostly lose their temper and emotions. They start scolding, yelling, shouting names to achieve control, and children are forced to comply with their orders. The communication is unidirectional. If the parents are speaking and a child remains silent.

However, authoritative parents will evaluate the situation by setting aside its emotion. This provides encouragement, discussion and allow kids to speak that enhance their confidence and feel supported.

• Discipline

Authoritarian parenting involves comprehensive consequences like using a computer or phone for a limited period or putting restrictions on a specific activity. In this method, parents gave hard punishments to kids and exerted more control over them, but this is less effective in their upbringing. 

Oppositely authoritative parents set higher rules, and they are more consistent when following through disciplines. It uses inductive discipline that enhances the child’s behavior and empathy.

• Control

Authoritarian parents are trying to over-control their children; However, imposing control over behavior is not enough. Parents need to have emotional balance as well as feel secure in their parental role.

In Authoritative parenting, where the rules remain high, children have the freedom to make their own mistakes and decisions. Controlling over children is not the ultimate purpose. 

Pros and Cons of Authoritative Parenting

Pros

1. Completely Flexible

Raising children with authoritative parenting style allows more flexibility in children with growing age. As the child become older, their requirements and desire change with time. Their personality develops as they enter adolescence, too, and it is easier for the authoritative parent to deal with than issues as compared to the traditional parenting style.

• Successful Children

The children raised with at least one authoritative parent at home are to be more successful in future. Because authoritative parents set reasonable expectations with results that fit the purpose. Parents are ready to hear when and support their child if he/she has done something wrong. This not only helps the child to improve but leads him towards success and growth. Despite being independent, child knows that parents are around him to support him.

Cons

1. Can lead to Disobedient Child

If the parents set higher expectations for the children, the child may go through a rebellious phase in their adolescence. And they could struggle with couple of things like understanding that their parents. Parents have to be determined to adapt to their child’s growth, but it does get tough for the authoritative parents during the teens since their expectations are high while the child is independent and commits mistake.

• Execution is Difficult

Sticking to a single parenting style is difficult since child’s attitude vary from time to time based on the external influence from school, friends etc. Authoritative parenting style is easy to adapt but hard to keep up. It seems easy to adopt too but difficult to implement It requires a lot of patience, persistence and perseverance as the child goes through stubborn or angry stages in childhood.

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Conclusion

Parenting styles vary from person to person and THERE IS NOTHING CALLED BAD PARENTING. I believe, it is our moral responsibility as humans to raise children who’re responsible, happy, and cooperative. While we parents try to be there and support our children, it is also important for us to let our children learn and take their own decisions. Children get affected by small things we do and while we call try to be a role models for our children, it is important to understand that children have their own thoughts. We need to learn to respect their thoughts. Authoritative parenting might not be ideal; however, it’s a parenting style that many experts believe in.