It is indeed puzzling if not a challenge for someone or anyone to stay positive and happy in the face of life’s various trials and tribulations . So, to those of you who are part of this very actively growing number of people seeking an answer to the question, how to be positive and happy, here are a few ideas that should awaken you to the reality of your very purpose of existence and also how to be positive and happy.
Circumstances and other people get the blame
A lot of the time, I hear people complain that they are not happy for reasons that are attributed to forces outside of themselves, not in their control. They blame their job, wife, husband, father, boss, a divorce, a business failure and many more to finally proclaim that they are unhappy, sad and negative because of all these circumstances in their lives.
And according to them, they are justified in being sad, unhappy, angry and downright pessimistic/negative towards people and everything around them. This in turn has led them into a place where they have stayed for so long that they have forgotten how to be positive and happy even when they have every reason to be genuinely to be.
Now, if you find yourself in the above spot, but yet are making some feeble attempt to explore how to be positive and happy, I’ve got good news for you.
Try to internalize this fact; all or some of the above “calamitous” circumstances are the same that everyone faces.
So, then you might ask how is a certain person is so content with life despite being in a terrible situation
The answer lies not in the circumstance but in how that person has reacted or responded to the situation.
Fact is the circumstance or people around you are not the cause of the sadness or negativity, but the way you have processed it in your mind.
For example: two people Jack and John imprisoned in one cell are given canvas and paint brushes to paint anything that comes to their imagination.
The depressed man John paints a gloomy picture of prison bars.
The happy man Jack, on the other hand who is living in the same cell, experiencing the same pain as the other, paints a happy scenery of the waterfront, the trees, flowers and birds.
What is the difference in their circumstance?
None at all.
They have the same hard cot to sleep on, the same lousy food to eat, the same dirty toilet and the same 24 hours to count every day. Yet one processes it differently than the other.
This is because Jack chose to be happy with what he has and John chose to be unhappy. In simple terms how to be positive and happy is a choice you make and not a result of circumstances or people around you.
The key on how to be positive and happy
Now that we have established that the choice to be happy and positive is entirely yours, let us delve a little further to understand how or why you feel robbed of your happiness and are not positive in life. Well again the keys are in you.
Well, picture this if you may; if you were standing holding an umbrella over your head protecting yourself from the pouring rain, it is very unlikely someone is going to come and share/rob your umbrella, unless you offered them shelter.
Likewise, no one can rob your happiness unless you allowed them, or gave them permission to rob your happiness.
Going a step further you must realize your emotions are yours and yours alone, so if you said he “made” me angry, I’d have to ask, how is that possible? Because he might have done something bad but your emotions, reaction and response are yours and yours alone.
No person or circumstance can make you sad or angry or anything; it’s your response and the reaction.
And if, it is an event from the long-forgotten past that everyone has forgotten but you still recall, it(this painful event) is occupying space only in your mind and hurting only you and that is what keeps you in a negative state of mind. Nobody else is remotely affected by your anger, curses, fury or negativity but you.
Enjoy little things in life
Read more Healthy habits of life
Happiness is positively your property
Now, to understand how to be positive and happy, let us first accept some ground realities to stay happy and positive.
- First off when you are unhappy and negative you will only attract more unhappiness and negativity.
- Second realize that your internalized sadness does not affect anybody but you. So how do you change these two?
Accept the circumstance for what they are. If it is something that is not in your control, (like a failed relationship) accept that and move on in life. By staying stuck in that thought you are not giving your mind the freedom to open up to newer and grander opportunities that are open to you. Second and this is really important is the key to your happiness and positive are in your possession and not anybody else’s responsibility.
So, when you get angry or sad and say, she made me sad, you are saying to me is you have given her the keys to your happiness or that you have made her responsible for your happiness.
Give the keys to nobody or no thing
In conclusion to this brief piece keep in mind; you are a fully functional, talented and divine creation. And how to be positive and happy is a choice that only you can make for yourself. The keys are in your hands, you create sadness or negativity when you give the keys of happiness to another person.
Nobody has a right to hold the keys to any of your emotions but you. You are innately designed to be happy and positive always and nobody can rob your emotions unless you carelessly give them the keys to your emotion
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I agree with you that it’s challenging to stay positive all the time and that’s why I appreciate all the tips that you shared. I guess seeing things in the lens of gratitude and learning to enjoy the little things is the key.
Glad you enjoyed reading the post.
I agree appreciating the moments which were not that good helps to be happy too. We should not find reasons to be unhappy. We should learn to happy in all.moments.
Right! Glad you enjoyed reading the post.
Happiness is a choice and you are the only one that can make that happen. I like how you break it down. Nice post.
Thanks. I am glad you enjoyed reading the post.
I sometimes think it is mandatory these days to be positive and happy at all times. Your post is very helpful for me. The best advise for me is to focus on positivity
Glad you enjoyed reading the post.
Yes to everything you said. We hold the key to our own happiness. It is not found in something or someone else, it is within us and up to us all the time. We can have all the money in the world and still be the most unhappy person alive.
This reminds me so much about the story of Anne Frank and the lessons she left for us in the Anne Frank Diaries. Today I will choose to be happy.
I like the idea but appreciating the not so happy moments help too. I mean, you’ll never know you’re happy unless you have experiences the other side right? =)
I had this wrong idea before how my happiness would depend on others but you say is up to us really! With a different state of mind I now just look up to myself and I’m happier than ever!