If you are thinking, “why is my grown son so mean to me” and looking for ways to get through a mean grown son, then you have landed at the right place.
When you’re raising a son, you know what lies ahead. He will someday leave home and venture out into the world as an adult. You are readying him for that moment by instilling values, discipline, and hard-won wisdom. But then it happens- You discover that hideous beast dwelling within your sweet child. Fortunately, not all grown sons are mean. But some of them become so – to you.
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There may be many reasons for this- Perhaps he resents your frequent attempts to curtail his excesses; or he interprets your advice as interference; or he feels you don’t trust him to make good decisions on his own; or he is just a little ungrateful, feeling that everything has been handed to him on a platter without requiring any effort from you (or anyone else). That said, even if your son has sadly become mean to you, there is always hope for change and redemption. Here are 7 simple strategies to understand why do sons disrespect their mothers and deal with a mean grown son.
When your grown child breaks your heart
A broken heart is never easy to deal with, and it can be especially difficult when you’ve been looking forward to the holidays with your grown child. With all the responsibilities they have on their plate, it’s not always easy for them to take time out to come home and visit. That’s why when your grown child breaks your heart, it’s important to be patient and understanding.
While you might want to offer some words of encouragement, keep in mind that you don’t have to fix everything right away. You’re allowed to be upset, but don’t let that anger turn into resentment. Try not to take things personally either. Instead, think of this time as an opportunity for you both to reconnect on a deeper level. There’s no reason why you should have to go through this alone.
6 Strategies that deal with your question – why is my grown son so mean to me?
Be direct and clear about your expectations for him
As parents, we all have high expectations for our children, especially for our sons. Naturally, you want him to be ambitious, disciplined, and successful. You want him to set high goals and achieve them. You want him to be a good husband and a good father too. You want him to be a responsible and dependable person who will carry his share of the load. Your love and high expectations for your son are expressed in everything you do.
You encourage him to pursue his dreams and achieve great things. You guide him in studying the subjects he needs, and you show him the right way to go about it. You insist that he be punctual, disciplined, and focused on his goals. You want him to be respectful of his teachers and elders, and you expect him to be responsible for his actions.
Set consequences for his behavior, especially when he is disrespectful to you.
Behaving disrespectfully towards you is the worst thing a son can do to his mother and father. It breaks your heart, especially when it happens frequently. You have to set consequences for his behavior. If you are being interrupted every time you are speaking to him, let that behavior have a consequence. If you have to raise your voice to make yourself heard, let that behavior have a consequence too. If you are being ignored, let the most effective consequences be applied. Let him know that you are not going to put up with disrespectful behavior towards him. If you have to let him know this by imposing a consequence, go ahead and do it.
Let go of the behavior that is most hurtful to you
Let go of unnecessary behaviors that are hurtful to you. Let go of expecting him to be a certain type of person that he isn’t. Let go of expecting him to be someone he cannot be. Let go of your expectations. Let go of your need to control his life. Let go of your need to be involved in his life every minute of every day. Let go of your need to constantly interfere in his life. Let go of your desire to keep him on a leash.
Let go of your need to always be right. Let go of the need to always win an argument. Let go of your need to constantly be in charge and control of every situation. Let go of your need to correct him all the time. Let go of your need to always be right. Let go of your need to be right all the time. Let go of your need to be involved in every aspect of his life. Let go of your need to know everything that is going on in his life. Let go of your need to control him. Let go of your need to be invited to every event that is happening in your life.
Let go of your need to always be the center of attention. Let go of your need to be invited to all family functions. Let go of your need to always have your advice sought out and accepted. Let go of your need to be consulted on every decision he is making. Let go of your need to always win an argument. Let go of your need to be the center of attention. Let go of your need to be consulted on every decision he is making. Let go of your need to correct him all the time. Let go of your need to be right all the time.
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Make it clear that while you are firm in your boundaries, you are open to listening.
Being open to listening does not mean you are weak. It means that you are mature and wise. You dare to face your son when he does something wrong, and you dare to face your mistakes too. You have a strong sense of self, and you are open to hearing your son out when he has a genuine complaint against you. You can set firm boundaries and also remain open to listening when you are wrong.
You can let him know that you are open to listening to him and changing your ways. Let your son know that you are willing to change your ways if he has a valid complaint against you. Let him know that you want your relationship with him to be better. Let him know that he has a right to be heard. Let him know that he has a right to complain to you if he feels that you are doing something wrong. Let him know that you are open to changing your ways or your behavior if he has a valid complaint.
Let him know that you are willing to apologize if you have done something wrong. Let him know that he has a right to be heard and to complain to you if he feels that you are doing something wrong. Let him know that you are open to changing your ways or your behavior if he has a valid complaint. Let him know that you are willing to apologize if you have done something wrong.
Invite him to counsel or family therapy together with you.
Family therapy is not just for the family who is having issues. It is for any family with a son who is mean to you. It is for any family with a son who has issues. If your son has issues, this is one of the best ways to help him. If he is mean because of anger and resentment towards you, family therapy can help him with that and channel it positively. If he has issues like anxiety, family therapy can help him with that too.
If he is mean to you because he is doing drugs, or if he has anger issues, family therapy can help him. If he is mean to you, family therapy can help you both with that. Family therapy is an excellent way to help both you and your son. When you both attend family therapy, your son gets to see you in a different light. He gets to see a more human side of you, and he gets to see how you are also struggling with certain issues and trying to better yourself.
Avoid nagging or lecturing – simply say “no” and move on.
When your mean grown son is being rude to you, your instinct may be to try to reason with him and convince him of the error of his ways. You may feel that you have to reason with him about why he is wrong and you are right. You may feel that you have to lecture him and explain to him why he is wrong and you are right.
why is my grown son so mean to me
Your reason and lecturing may be valid, but if your son feels you are being controlled or nagging, he will resent you and get even more distant from you. He may feel you are a nagging mother who always has to be right, and that you have no trust in his abilities and decisions.